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9:52 a.m. - Oct. 19, 2002
I gotta get outta here
Saturday - geez I hate it when I have nothing fun planned. I am supposed to go out tonight. If I dont get off my ass I wont do anything. Paco and Harley were up at the crack of dawn (thanks guys).

I put red in my hair yesterday. I like it I wish it would stay.

So I have done a little thinking about how bad my heart feels and you know it is getting better. It kills me that J is seeing someone but I think it is for the best. I will get over him and find someone better I am sure. I am not looking for a replacement player right now. Just someone sincere and TRUSTWORTHY...thats the big thing. I couldnt trust him...never could and I think my distrust and his dishonesty was what tore us apart. ISSUES.

Well enough of that.

I am gonna have a good day..I can feel it. I dont know what I am gonna do so I guess I will wing it. KK said she would go out tonight and Hopefully Smear will feel up to it too. I did get a very nice email from this one guy so maybe I will meet him tomorrow. If I feel up to it. There is a vampire party in Long Beach tonight. Some new friends from LA are coming down to go to that so may hit that later too. Robbie is in Vegas for Biz so he isnt going to this but I told him that I would go to Knotts Scary Farm for the vamp halloween outing. Sometimes it is hard to step out from behind the PC and become real. I think once I do it tho I will be okay.

So I have to finish cleaning my hard drive and download some more tunz...gonna call KK and make a plan and shower FINALLY....more on the day later as it progresses...

Keep It Real




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