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5:28 a.m. - June 10, 2003
Playin it safe
Yesterday I said I was gonna play it safe...ya know...the whole not attached thing? Cuz seriously I cant go thru again what I went thru with Jeff...And just as soon as I make up my mind...FUCKIN CURVE BALL...and confusion and all that crap. Funny thing is I KNEW I was flippin on this guy but I didnt wanna admit instead of going on some binger I just dyed the hair...interesting way to be but its me..ha ha ha

So let me clarify....I met a guy....took a while to actually meet but we did finally and things seemed to click...he let me know he wasnt looking for either...(LIE)...then he starts the "dance" and here comes my headache...poor Sassy...she has been such a trooper over the last week catering to my relationship rollercoaster. Anyway, I made up my mind that no matter how bad it hurt or how much I wanted to be with this guy I was gonna play my safe card cuz I figgered that was the best thing to do...

THEN...I go to the Goat last night and was chilling with Sass and he called and asked me if I wanted to come by and chill...OKAY!!! Cuz any chance I have to see him I am gonna go for it matter how much I say I am "guarded" or "unavailable" cuz I dig the dude.

So I go to see him last night and he tells me that he IS NOT emotionally unavailable and he isnt afraid of relationships but that he thought I was.(If I had been eating I woulda spit my food across the room I swear!!)And that he kinda was playing his safe card...OH MY HEAD...

I dont know what is going to happen here but here is the skinny...I have met alot of men over the past few months...some good so not so much...I really really like this guy...I would chuck it all for a go with him, at least a shot...and when I say chuck it all I am talking the whole enchilada...the dating scene...I told him..kinda...he is the neatest guy I have met in such a long time...he is smart, makes me laugh and is hot like fire to boot...I think we could have a good thing cuz we both are busy and the time we would be able to spend together would be great.

I tried real hard over the last week to talk myself out of him...I cant find anything wrong with him...he even likes I am deleting the internet ads for a while and just gonna see whats up.

I think we had a good talk last night...I feel a little better but still a bit confused and I had a migrane last night all night (may have been the tequila....LOL).

So here is the dealie-o...maybe I am stupid but I think I am ready to take a chance...I hope he is...what have I got to lose?

Should I name the puppy? Yea we will call him CK.

More after work...TTFN

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