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5:02 a.m. - September 02, 2003
Weekend Update
Damn I swear I can run myself nto the ground....whew what a weekend.

Lets see friday night I went to see SJ's band play. They are awesome and he is too I might add. His pictures dont do him justice. great smile, great bod...WHY WHY WHY did he hafta plan his vacation for the day after I meet him? Oh well this one time will tell. I dig him. But til he returns I'll play.

Scuba was very impatient so I went ahead and met up with him friday night. Damn good thing I did cuz if I had waited the weekend woulda been fucked. He is a really cool guy...the problem is our relationship isnt worth a plug nickle. I walked away not feelin so great this time. And the whole time I was hanging with him I had other things on my mind (SJ, CK, etc.) He is a deviant and it is unfortunate that we never really had the opportunity or the "want" to get to know each other on a better level. Final Outcome? I prolly wont ever see him again. Not by his choice but by mine. It isnt a healthy relationship and I dont like the direction it is going. I need more substance and he is not a whirl wind of opportunity. I figger I'll drop him a line and tell him happy birthday and then disappear.

Sunday I went into lockdown. This was the time I needed to figger all this out with Scuba and other stuff. I think I only left my room to get some food. I never used the phone, shit I didnt even get dressed. I need a day or two like that a year. I needed to re-evaluate the way things are going with me. Nothing groundbreaking from my filth-fest...however I know more about which direction I need to go. What is healthy (mentally and physically) and what and who isnt.

From all of this I thought I would give Pop-Tart one last chance for face time. He sent me a text message late sunday night telling me he had wanted to spend the weekend with me. The thing is he had stood me up weekend before last and I ended up sitting around all weekend waiting on him to get his shit together. So I went ahead and made plans for myself. He calls me up (oops text Messages me) on friday afternoon wanting me to drop everything for him. Not a chance. I dont break plans. PERIOD. He read me the riot act thru text messages and that was that. So I figgered I would TRY one last time. Shit I KNOW there is a cool guy in there. Chili Pepper says the cool guy is on vacation in Bulgaria and left the psycho body snatcher here in his body. I am inclined to agree at this point. Does BI-POLAR mean anything to you? Anyway ..I called him twice and text messaged him a few times (I am SURE I will get a call saying I am calling to much again...whatever). I got no response so that is done...I tried.

Sunday was kinda productive. I went and bought a new Hamster. Her name is Opal. She is an albino. I thought her and Mama would get along but holy moses was that hamster brawl when I put those two together. Shit I had to separate them with a goldfish net and fish mama out. ADVICE? Dont put two hamsters together if they arent purchased together. Man it was bad. So now me and Cyclops each have our own little hamsters (well Opal is way obese) and they are happily in their own cages. What a nightmare.

So it is off to a 4 day work week. What lies ahead for me? Well Stretch wants ANOTHER tarot reading tonight. I am just NOT in the mood to do that right now. I may reschedule. I kinda wanna be at home right now. There is a new guy in temecula that wants to meet up for a drink. He is 49. Kinda old for me but I thought well...why not right? maybe thursday. Tonight is Nip/Tuck. I'm still tired and achy from this weekend.

I need to see Ck...he hasnt been present online much since he wrecked the motorcycle. I text messaged him and he told me he would call me but I didnthear from him. Not like that is anything new. I didnt expect him to actually. At least he knows I care.

Okay well off to shower land and stuff. Cyclops' car is fubar and she needs me to jump it off for her. And if I am not all together right when she needs me well that might throw both our days off. Ill write more tonight...




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