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4:46 a.m. - January 20, 2004
The Best Birthday Gift.~SJ
There is a reason that everything happens. I definately belive we all have out life laid out we just dont know whats going to happen. There was a reason I met SJ...there was a reason we were both on the personals at the same time. Even my sista knew that he was supposed to be in my life. I am still not sure what his key roll is but I can tell you this...I am glad he is here.

That man did it again. And lemme tell you, supressing any feelins for him from growing is an undertaking all its own. However, if it means I cant fall for him cuz if I do he is out of my life then I will not let myself. But it is hard when he is everything I could ever want in a man...

Anyway he took me out on another FABULOUS date last night. He took me out for my birthday. He showed up here dressed in slacks and a sport coat and a wonderful shirt. He bought me this one of a kind, artist original shirt he got up on Melrose. Fuckin thing hadta cost a fortune. And he fit it perfectly to me. Then we went to this very romantic Italian restaurant in Newport called Villa Roma. We are both on the wagon so there was no booze at all(which was good-kept me in line). The view from our table was out over the ocean and Newport Harbor. I had this Bistecca with linguini and he had swordfish and then for desert, chocolate souffle'. We talked and talked and talked, about everything. He made me feel so special. Even if the rest of my birthday was a bust, and didnt go like I wanted it to...last night made up for it. I wanted so badly to ask him in but it was late and I was afraid to. It was prolly best I didnt. I dont wanna go there and neither does he. I wouldnt want to do anything that might jeopardize the friendship I have with him. (why cant I find a man like that???)

He and I are getting tats tonight. I thought we were going over right after work but it looks like it is going to be a little later instead. Which Is fine. I am gonna go over about 6 and let them get started with me. He is coming down after dinner with his sone in LA.

I am just so happy the Powers that Be allowed he and I to find eachother...Like I siad there is a reason we are in each others lifes, I am not certain what it is but I am sure time will tell.



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