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11:13 a.m. - February 14, 2004
He's Back....
He showed up last night on line...Fixx that is. I seriously didnt think after the way things went last week that he would wanna chat with me anymore. I am glad he is back and that wierd void is gone. STRANGE. I still want him here there is no denying that at much to the fact I am willing to throw a grand away if he doesnt get on the plane. FUCK I am insane.

I didnt end up going out last night. I had this lingering motha fuckin headache. It wasnt bad just enuf to be annoying as hell. So I went to Blockbuster and grabed some chow came home and passed out. Was prolly a good thing I needed to sleep and I feel a million times better.

Well I have slipped back into the same mode I was in when FP was coming on tour with PBF last year. GLAM METAL BABE. Why cant I snap out of it? I am goin nuts. I was even thinking about more pink and piercing my nose. WTF?!?

I am goin to see PBF in LA next month. What would be ideal? HAving Fixx with me. However who knows. Im gonna throw this one to the PTB and see what happens. I cant control fate or I might as well just say Fuck It and let what happens happen. I do know Suz said she would go with me so I am cool...

So today I am doin NOTHING, Sittin on my ass watching movies that I rented last night...SO I Am gonna go finish watching X Men 2 and contemplate a shower.



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