5:47 a.m. - June 01, 2004
Friday I wasnt gonna go out...BUT Jill called and decided we would go to Pierce Street and The Goat...Fuckin ridiculous that was. She got BLASTED drunk (chicks that cant handle their lickher...*gags*) She fell down in the ally and lost her Mac eyeliner then slept on the floor of my bathroom for 5 hours....NICE! Idiot.
Saturday I wanted to take the Torch up to Manhattan beach to get played. So Denise and I went up there...Jill followed. They didnt play torchy, I took it out for no reason and Jill got drunk again. Not a big tho. I wore my hair straight and for the first time guys actually came and talked to me and not right up to Jill...hmmmm....must reevaluate the do.
I slept all day on and off on saturday and Sunday. I text messaged Britt and she and Ray met me at Liquid Lounge Sunday night...Oh and Jill came...THAT was a sight..It was like the a Stepford Wife in the middle of a Mosh Pit. Anyways THAT place was packed Elbows to Assholes. Lots of yummy puppies...however I did go home alone. Rod showed up...I think my antics scared him off once and for all. All I did was get up on stage and dance like a crazy person...I was having fun ...fuckem all...
Yesterday Michael and I went to Newport and walked in the sun. It was nice out and then came home, chilled and went walking with Russ and Michael in the late afternoon. Somehow I have busted the side of my foot up...THATS not okay. Hurts like a BITCH.
Okay interim notes...I spoke on the tele with RB to some extent on Friday night and monday night. His turmoil and working thru woman crapola *gags*...he is supposed to come to OC...hmm...okay...
Jaymz wanted to come hang out but that didnt happen and I was the weakest link and let Pop Tart come over and upset my head again too. He is a bastard and just thinks he is the only one in the world with any type of worthwhile life. Fact is...he is miserable, lonely, loves me and wont admit it...BUT one thing about letting him comeover that is good is that I can always look forward to telling him to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. Its funny and it feels good.
I had a "thought come to me over the weekend (yesterday) in listening to a certain person rant and my own little epiohanies and here is what I wrote in my MySpace blog...
"Is Second Place Better? Sometimes
In car shows NO....But in life maybe....
It involves settling. Now in my immediate exsistance and in the past I refuse to settle. NEVER have and told myself I never would. I am beginning to ponder the second spot now.
I am just wondering if it is worth it and if I can live with myself knowing what I know and knowing how I am. I can try and see and risk disappointment or risk suprise.
I think I am fucked up and I am over analyzing shit that hasnt and prolly wont even occur...Why do this to myself...cuz right now I think the second spot is the place I wanna be..."
Why did I write this?...Something inside me says that if I just relax what I really "think" I might want/need is right there in front of me, just stop being so fuckin superficial...okay cryptic...sorry.
Well Hopefully this week wont be bad cuz its short and I am hoping Fat Head steers clear. No radio, so today will be long but Ill survive.
I had a good weekend...and thats all that matters...
Oh and on a final ***footnote***I was watching 100 Metal Moments on VH1, Taime was on there and I have decided I may just hafta do him once and for all...fuck it why not?