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8:18 a.m. - January 31, 2005
Just Another Day in Paradise
I turned into a terrorist this weekend. That side of me hasnt reared its ugly head since....shit since Lee New and I dated back in the 80's. FUCK

I think I need to consider getting back on prozac...

Friday night was actually pretty cool. Brandy and I went to bricktown for dinner and had crab and oysters. That was so yum...and we met a couple of cute guys that asked for our numbers..but alas no call...(figgers) then we took off and went to VZD's for a night cap. That was pretty cool. When we got home she said we would go to Bricktown dancing saturday night...okay cool. She still hadnt heard from Dave and when we got home she called and said he called at 7 on the home phone (chickenshit) to make arrangements to come get his stuff. Long story short...he came over cuz she needed (and I quote) "someone to hold her".

I told Brandy that she needed to either cut Dave or Abi loose...but hey ya know what? She wants to play them and they wanna let her ...NOT MY PROBLEM...right? RIGHT!

WELL...he is moving the rest of his stuff out of his house and in with I guess Abi is outta the pic...whatever...

Anyways she and I went to Club Rane sat. And the same shit as always happened. I go pee..she has a flock of guys there..but THIS time she didnt introduce me and she sat there having shots with them and laughing like I wasnt there. I said something to the tune of "I think I am gonna go to the Green Door for a music fix" Thats when she looked at this one guy and said..."she hates this music" and then she says to me (in a threatening manner)..."if you go there I'm just gonna go home."

I shoulda said "Okay" and walked out but I bottled up and slammed my martini and waited for her to decide she was tired of these idiots and we left. I have a very low tolerance for Martinis and since I am a JD fucks me up right fast.

Well we go towards the house and the anger and resentment and all the shit I had been feeling about her and her selfishness and how she uses people just started crawling in my blood like a disease. And I decided I needed to see a friendly face so I talked her into going to Iron Star to see if brent was working. Well, they were closed and Brent met us at the let me add that in the interim she has called Dave and that fucker has come to Iron Star to meet us...Brent informed us they were closed and thats all it took to make me SNAP. I got pissed off and slammed the door to the place...walked out and looked at Dave and said..."Take HER home!!!" She followed me to the car and i got in and took off....

From there I drove to Classics but couldnt pull myself together long enough to clean up my make up and go into the bar. I just sat there in the the cold and the parking lot...bawling. All I could think of was Lucky and california and how much fun me and Jill and Chantelly and Britt and Denise used to have. Just US GALS. Dancing and drinking and laughing. Men werent a factor...I miss that.

I have no girlfriends here. And Brandy is a sorry one to say the least.

So anyways...I went home. I cried...and cried and cried...and finally after a number of pills I passed out.

Craig called Sunday AM and he and I went to have breakfast. He said that Brandy had called him and told him what happened with a giggle in her voice. She called me at like 430 and I didnt answer. Craig and I went and tanned and drove around...then I laid on the couch watching movies til 8 and Craig and I attempted to go see Brent play soccer...BUT the game was cancelled. NO BIG.

Lucky just called and he had a shitty weekend too. I think maybe I just need to get the hell out there to see him...Thats all.



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