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2:47 p.m. - March 23, 2005
SXSW Recap
March 18, 2005

�On The Road Again� should have been playing on my stereo as I pulled out of the Armpit. But I don�t own any Willie Nelson (sorry Shawna) so it was all about the usual rotation as I crossed the border at 4 am from Oklahoma to the United State of Texas. Here I am on my way to Austin for South by Southwest and to hang out with 3 of my favorite gals in the world.

6 am and I am 2 hours north of Austin and watching the sun come up over Waco�yea where the Branch Dividians made the stupid hell town and the Elite Caf� famous. I wasn�t supposed to be in Austin til say 10 or 10:30am but it looked as if my lead foot would have me there earlier than expected. I was hoping the gals got in early from St Patty�s cuz I was WIRED. 4 Redbulls and 3 Starbucks Shot in the Darks and I was ON!

Arriving at the Best Western Seville Plaza in Austin I S.W.A.T. my way down the halls to beat on room 430 (pussy30 to those that asked) and woke up the mob. �Get up Hookers its time to go�.

After quickie showers and the � assed recaps from the previous two nights began. I was told about a guy that was chatting up the gals the night before and told Kathryn she had a �Fuck off Smile�. There was mention of some Goth chick at the Cheerleadr 666 show what was WAY too scary for frightfest and was in EVERYONES face. And then I was told that our hotel buddies that liked to hover in the parking lot by a Winnebago was a band called Mudbox and that the singer looked like Bon Jovi (no not Slippery When Wet Bon Jovi but the NEW short haired version). Many girly products later we pile into Kathryn�s Vue and off we go to IHOP into the day. As we pull in to the IHOP I spot the MySpace Party Bus outside the LaQuinta next door. Shawna let out a squeal like a poked pig. Kathryn maneuvered the Vue over the curb and into the hotel lot. Shawna bailed out of the car before it even stopped. Then with super fast speed she is running around the bus screaming and finally after friendly persuasion with a clueless bus driver we get to snap a moment with the bus.

After all that drama it�s into IHOP where we are informed that our waitress had been on hiatus for a year and it was her first day back. This crazed woman got off telling Kathryn the difference in the IHOP assortment of pancakes. If this was an indication of what I was in for I am thinking maybe we should reevaluate? HELL FUCKIN NO!

We piled back in the Vue and headed down to 6th street where the SXSW music stuff was taking place. Now for those of you who have never been to SXSW or to Austin for that matter let me �splain; Austin is a college town and a party town to boot. 6th street is about 7 city blocks of nothing but bar after bar after bar. I�m not talking like 1 or 2 per block but more like 30 or 40 per block. What takes place during SXSW is that every bar books as many bands they can as to attract more patrons. Bands start around noonish for the most part. Pre Arrival we had all discussed getting a li�l tattoo memento. Kathryn informed us she was saying to hell with the lil tat she was going big (that�s her style) so we had to be on 6th street at 12pm when the tattoo place opened.

We found a weird place to park where we had to cram money in a teeny slit so as the Austin Parking Gestapo wouldn�t tow our ride. Then we headed to Redrum. We thought we were going into another bar but when we got there the door guy said it was free (good thing) and that there were a bunch of bands playing. What we encountered was under age EMO kids playing HORRIBLE music. The kids there all had pants that were so baggy in the ass that there coulda been a cat fight in them and they woulda never known�then there were guys there that were so skinny their pants hadta come from the lil girls preteen department at Sears. It was SICK. Shawna would make cat fight sounds every time a baggy pants guy walked by. We needed to GO! You have never seen 4 bitches suck down booze faster than Me, Jess, Shawna and Kat did�just get us the fuck hell outta here. Funny thing tho right as we were slammin our drinks some fuckstuck EMO kid knocked over a table. It sounded like a shotgun. That was the last sign we needed to exit stage left. We never returned to Redrum.

Shawna, Jess and I dropped Kathryn off at the tattoo place where a strange guy was gonna carve her up for about an hour. Out front of the place a crack head guy decided to prop himself up on a pickup truck and recite made up poetry. That�s SXSW...everyone has an ACT. We were destined to catch a buz and away we went. Every bar we hit had an animal name in it�Pattern? Possibly�Chuggin Monkey, Dizzy Rooster, Coyote Ugly, Blind Pig to name a few. There weren�t a lot of people out yet cuz it was still way early. So when Kathryn called we met up with her for a few more drinks and a bit of trouble making. At one point when we were walking down the street Shawna starts up with the wild ass screams and points at a guy walking away and screams �WILLIE NELSON!!!!� Looked like him, tho I don know for sure if it was. After that however we were on the lookout for WILLIE.

We headed to the Asian Massage and modeling studio where weirdness and depravity is a compliment. Then for fun and silliness we went to Scruffy's Food & Texas Souvenirs. Lots of fun pics and Redbull purchases later at Scruffy�s we took a vote. We decided not to waste anymore time but to go back to the hotel and shower and gussie up for a night of music and mayhem.

We were all looking uber hott and called a cab to come get us at 7pm. We were ready to go at 6:30 so we loitered in the hotel lobby looking like PROS. Finally a one armed cabbie shows up to deliver our hoochie asses back down to 6th street. Now on a side note to people going there next year�leave your HEELS at home. Tennis and comfy shoes are the only way to go. I don�t care how often you wear heels�this is NOT a heels event. While driving we pulled up next to a couple of guys on crotch rockets. Kathryn obviously hates crotch rockets and she told the driver who was ever so polite when he offered to run them over. What the F?!?

We were dropped off at the Dizzy Rooster where we met up with Adam and Manny from LoneStar PornStar (see my CD review of these guys). We partook in a few adult beverages and made a lot of racket. When that was done we headed out to hit a few more bars, we ended up at Platinum X where we met up with Rick from Meyvn (see upcoming CD review). They weren�t playing till midnight but we hung out cuz the bar was cool and Rick was pointing out major players for the weekend. See Rick is an Austin resident and he has all the info on who�s who in the Austin Music scene. Well a band called Backlit Revolver was setting up and I asked Rick if they were any good. He said �listen and see� with a giggle and about that time they hit the stage.

Wow what a freaking great band�That�s All I can say about it now as I am not doing live show reviews. BUT�I wanted to get up on the table and scream and wiggle�I will be reviewing their CD mui pronto so be ready kiddies�Well when they were done I spoke briefly with Red the lead singer and rounded up the posse� to head out to another bar. We hit the Blind Pig for a bit and hung out there where a couple of bands played in the background as we mulled around inside�on the way out we ran into Jamie and Noah from S�cool Girls. Noah was wicked awesome and told us he would put us on the list for the private Levis Party they were playing on Saturday at 2pm. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY lil hookers we were�we hung out with them for a few and headed back out to go find more mayhem. Little did we know that the bars during South by Southwest filled up to Maximum capacity (45-60) in no time. And because of the large amount of folks in for spring break and SXSW the Fire Marshall was being an Uber-Dick. So because we couldn�t get in anywhere except places where the bands SUCKED MAJOR ASS (yea there were a few of them) and our feet were about to fall off (yea we looked hot but the pain over took the need to try to be cool), we decided to get a bratwurst and regroup. For some reason after weenur consumption (yea Jess they ROCK) even heavy-duty rocker chicks tend to become tired. So we hailed a cab and headed back to Pussy30 at the Seville Plaza. If anyone was to ask Kathryn she would say�go to the fourth floor and follow the girl smell�THAT�S HORRID�and NOT what she meant.

March 19, 2005

New day�new breakfast spot? NOPE...this time no breakfast just go straight into LUNCH...the difference in this day was that we all had decided when we left that we were NOT coming back to Pussy30 since this was the big day fro SXSW. Screw it if it is gonna rain and we were gonna endure if it was the last thing we ever did. We had a lot of bands we wanted to see and I had a lot of bands calling me to meet up with them and pick up CD�s to review (yea yea yea they are all coming gimme a break fuckers).

We once again pile into the Vue. Kathryn is on a mission this time to kill us before we even get there. The traffic is horrible due to an overturned flat bed trailer and a car that decided to drive up on that so we take the service road as far as we could. Finally getting past the wreck Kathryn lead foots it to the exit ramp that is probably 10 feet away. We hit the exit ramp at about 85mph and there was another car less than 2 car lengths ahead of us�the next thing I remember (and I was SOBER) was the smell of something burning and loud screams and laughter. If Kathryn has brakes left on that car it�s a miracle. We were air born off that ramp I shit you not. Girl was seriously on a mission. Shawna hollered out amid laughter �That was like a roller coaster I liked it!�

We make it down to 6th street (barely) in time to roll into the dinky Austin excuse of the Hard Rock Caf�. Dinky yes but the food was YUMMILICIOUS. After that we sprinted down 6th street to the Urban Outfitters and the Levi�s trading Post for the Red Stripe private party featuring S�cool Girls. It was hot and stuffy outside but the beers were damn cold and we got to mingle with a select few folks that were allowed to this shin dig.

The outside was set up funny with seats that were out of cars and throw rugs. It was like a junk yard living room. So we gals settled into the back of a pickuptruck�minus the pickup, chuggin cold Red Stripes, to watch S�cool Girls.

What a rocking fun time THAT show was (CD review in the wings) �Jess and I were dancing on the front end of a car (minus the car) and just making complete spectacles of ourselves. Noah and the guys were WILD to say the least. Noah jumped of fhte stage so much I was afraid he would hurt himself and then like a maniac he picked up a trash can and tossed it and all its contents toward the crowd, THAT was special. If I could get my hands on the cam the Levis guy had it would be great! Scared of the pics he got ya know?

After a lot of sweaty dancing we headed back to the Dizzy Rooster Blind Pig where Manny informed me there was a band getting ready to play that I needed to see. They were a bit rockabilly and kinda country but AWESOME. Now for a hardcore rocker guy to tell me that a band like this is good I gotta check it out. So we did. And he was right the band as called W.T. Special (see upcoming CD review) and let me tell you any band that can have 6 rock & roll junkies (Me and the Gals, Manny and Adam) to scream out �Stay Outta My Shit� and do-si-do in the middle of a bar you gotta be fuckin� GREAT!

Then we gals headed down once again to the Blind Pig where we met up with and hung out with the guys from The Gun Shys (yea yea CD review comin) It was cool except whilst sitting outside and enjoying cool adult beverages the fuckin bottom fell out and it was downpour central. People were scurrying around like a bunch of boat rats on a sinkin ship. Cool thing? Bands kept playing cuz the clubs were prepared for the weather.

During the torrential downpour I get a call the Kristine, my buddy from San Fran down to help out the San Antonio TV show �the Scene�. After a bunch of drama on Friday she was able to commandeer a ride and get her party gal ass to Austin and met up with me and the Street Team at the Blind Pig. We all watched the rain and sucked down a few and decided to head on out and go to Coyote Ugly as Jess and I felt it necessary to dance on the bar. Kathryn was no where to be seen and after many interrogations we discovered that she went with Manny from LoneStar PornStar to get MORE ink.

Once at the Coyote, Jess and I got up on the bar and danced til we were pooped out. Finally Kathryn and Manny showed back up. The rain cause hat purchases and hat theft and here we were ready to get off the damn bar and go somewhere else.

Now Saturday night at SXSW is the big night�everyone comes out. And that is good but bad also. Any of the bands we had thought we would get to see, there were lines down the block�and what sucked major ass is that the bands we wanted to see weren�t going on til close to or after midnight. Well when the clubs are at capacity, the Fire Marshall is standing by and its one in one out�makes it hard for 4 girls to complete any task we set out to do together. So we split up. Kathryn headed with Manny to the Dizzy Rooster, Shawna and Jess met up with Glen and Dave, a couple of cats Shawna knew from before, and hung out. Kristine and I couldn�t get it together. She needed to catch up with Rhoades Di�Ablo and the guys from Crash Kelly and my phone was going berserk with bands trying to get CD�s to me. So from that point it was every gal for herself. I was soaked from the rain and decided it was time for me to get all my ducks in a row. So I split from Kristine, met up with a couple of bands for CD�s and headed back to the hotel to sort it all out. I figgered the gals had gotten into a club but I was way wrong. They weren�t far behind me when we all finally collapsed from exhaustion and weenur consumption it was about 11:30pm.

All in all I had the time of my life and I wish that I had gotten to seemore bands perform live. I want to that first and foremost my Street Team hookers Jessica, Kathryn and Shawna for helping spread the word about Sugarbuzz and being such great friends to boot. I also wanna thank all the bands that made sure I didn�t leave Austin empty handed�you can betcha I will have a CD review for all of you SOON.



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