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8:54 a.m. - April 14, 2005
Lookin Up
Went home last night and it was a great thing...I got my new BOOTS!!!

Nothing can make me feel better when I am down than getting new is good!

Now as far as life goes I broke down yesterday and called Lucky. he and I were both so fuckin miserable it was sick. I thought it was bad when Adrian and I split..this is (was) worse! So we talked and I gave him a it is...

1. Above anything else I need you.
2. I need to talk to you alot every day
3. I need to know if we have any chance of being together (not the I WISH stuff the REAL DEAL)
4. I need you to be 100% honest with me about your relationship with HER (if you really love her, have sex, want out all that)
5. I need you to tell me everything even if you think it will hurt me...lying hurts worse in the long run
6. If you really want me I need to see something of a type of effort to make it happen...
7. I need to now that my love for you isnt in vain
8. I need to work with you on all aspects of the Shug
9. I need everything between us to be open and honest and candid...all the time
10. Most of all I need you

So I made him go thru it with me and I think the plan at hand is this (and it does seem do-able soooo...

He was told by HER he had to get a new job or he was out by He says he is gonna move out in June and then save $$ and I will go out there as much as I can...then we will just come out and get my shit and move me in with him in LA...OKAY!!! It wont happen TODAY or right away BUT hopefully it will. (It may just be me talking and thinking out my ass too)

In the mean time we keep doing this...and being honest and open and candid all the time. And hopefully I wont flip out. But since he knows how I feel all the better....

On a high note the Sugarbuzz Street Team has another scheduled event..It isnt til September BUT...its the North Texas Music Fest We (Me, Shawna, Kat and Jess) are invading Adrian's House and gonna party for 4 days ...weeeeeeeeeeee. Granted I am not living back in LA.

Okay so I am gonna try to do something that can be counstrued as 'work'. I am feeling 100% better today. Motley Crue is tonight but I am not going...I do wish I knew where they were staying tho ahahahaha...

Im out.



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