12:51 p.m. - May 25, 2005
Here I am and I am thinking...I am a genuinly fun and nice person. I may be high maintenance since I like to go out alot but I dont think sitting home ALL the time is the answer.
But what irritates me is this. Fake people. And people that can not and do not have the capacity to just say...HEY...I dont want to be friends with you anymore because ________. I mean who are you fooling when you say "oh I am busy with work" or "Im Sick" or "Im so tired" all the time. Grow a set and just say. I think you are okay but I just dont wanna hang out with you, this is why. You might be suprised they might adjust to keep your friendship. Honesty gives people alot more credibility. And even tho you can prolly mark their name off the list of who to call if you need help...its prolly for the best in the end. Dont you think?
The reason I say this is cuz I had a person I thought was a friend. Who I recently found out LIED to me. This person said they didnt have money...or were tired or sick...and couldnt even come over to hang out and listen to tunes. Then I find out they have been out partying and doin all sorts of stuff. Not that I care and wouldnt have gone prolly IF I had been asked BUT...see where I am coming from?
If I dont fit in with your group cuz I am not a chain smoker, or on anti depressants, or dont feel like having the revolving pity party ALL THE TIME...then just say something. Wait til I face you one of these days...THAT will be fun...
Also If you are a friend with someone...dont forget to ask them how they are or whats new with them. It means alot and takes so little. Every now and then the party you DUMP your problems on ALL THE TIME might like to be asked. Hell even if you really dont care its just nice.
My moral? You dont get alot of chances to make REALLY good friends in your short life. If you find someone that could be, but may be a bit different from you, dont blow them off for no reason. Think like they are the condiment and you are the main course. They glorify you and make you special because you always absorb a bit of what surrounds you. However, if you prefer to be locked up in your scanty apartment that smells like stale cigs and cat piss...go for it...THAT absorbs too.