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8:24 p.m. - September 07, 2005
Sometimes I am posed with questions that make my skull split..Im talking MIGRANE RATIONALITY...So I figger Ill just write instead of go insane.

Lately alot of my friends are talking to me about how they are not happy with their current 'relationship'. I use that term loosely as I am beginning to discover that MEN dont know what that means.

I am speaking of three people inparticular (gals) and I am not saying who...

I can help but wonder a few things...then I will go another way with this.

1. WHY do we find men that seem so great only to find out they are liars, and cheaters?

2. If you had to pick..what would you rather endure...whats worse?
A. Mental Abuse
B. Physical Abuse
C. Being REALLY Alone

3. Why is it so hard to cut loose someone that OBVIOUSLY doesnt give two shits about you?

4. Do actions REALLY speak louder than words?

5. What if those actions are a pendulum and go from one extreme to another? How do you interpret that?

6. Why can a guy be so insensitive?

7. Why do OUR (gals) minds run so rampant with accusations created thru apparant circumstances and intuition? Or are our Intuitions correct?

8. How much is TOO much?

9. Whats harder to swallow?
A. Pride
B. Dignity

10. How come shit happens to nice people? How is it they set themselves up for it over and over?

I could go on and on and on...however whats the point? I just dont understand why it is so fucking hard to just walk away. In the past it is always so easy and then, the one time a woman needs her inner Goddess strength...she is left alone to figure out what to do.

Now here comes more queries...Lets say you find a letter..or an email...or photo and it is very 'revealing' do you bring that up without being a snoopy, suspicious good for nothing? You you are left to ponder the reality without getting any answers. And what then? Do you act on what you THINK you know? Or wait it out to see what happens? And if you long?

See my three friends are ideally in the same boat. Just a very minute detail here and there is different...but all in all the same...

They are involved on some level with men that are sketchy...

They lie...or dont TELL the truth..then when confronted either make jokes about it or say .."well you didnt ask me" Hey fuck ass..if we ASKED you woulda lied anyways.

They are eerily non-commital on a public level.

They (the guy) seems to get some sort of THRILL from the games. Watching her squirm and walk on eggshells.

They make the girls feel like SHIT all the time. Good days or bad days...

I always say if you cant trust someone you cant love them...But thing is..if you get burned...I mean Really burned...does it kinda ruin it for whoever comes along next? Suspicions & Accusations that finally lead up to break up? Then you can ever really love again cuz the trust is never REALLY there and you are fucked all the way around...

Worse situation is when you finally decide to let someone close and all the things you should be thinking...go away...BAD TIMING for that noise.

What brought this on is that one of my friends read an email accidently left open on her computer by a guy she really cares about...and now she has information she cant use. Then after listening to the other two friends I realize, this is an epidemic.

Are we all so vulnerable that it takes a wood bat upside the head before we GET IT?

What do my friends do? Sure it is easy to say GET RID OF THE RAT BASTARD but is it that easy to do? NO it isnt. But even if they know in their head and their hearts that they are better off without them...why cant they do it?

When is it time to stop being a fool?



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