8:46 p.m. - January 12, 2008
Recently I have had a couple of encounters with men with vaginas. I am dead serious. These two guys have behaved worse than any trailer park hooker on a Jerry Springer episode that just found out her baby's daddy is in a homosexual relationship with her brother who is also her uncle.
Let's start with Joe. Nice enough, at first. I wasn't particularly attracted to him however I was thinking I would give him the benefit of the doubt. We had a few common interests so I thought I would shake off my bitchiness and see. I found myself saying to people all the time "he is a GREAT guy". Well that was me making excuses for his lack in sex appeal. The first time we got close to doing it he informed me he wasn't circumcised. I guess my shock caused him some distress and from then on I was perpetually on the rag. It's kinda gross in my opinion. I like a pretty cock and one with all the extra skin is nowhere near. I apologize to anyone if this offends them but hey it's MY opinion and I like it how I like it...and if I can't look at it with the lights on without grossing out then...well. I couldn't bring myself to shake the image from my mind. And then to make it worse kissing him was like kissing a rock. No passion in the lips, they were tight and dry. He had the personality of oatmeal. Even when we were out with his peers he didn't speak a word, just faded into the background leaving me to carry us both socially. That my friends is so draining. But still he would pay and pay and pay for things I needed done even with me insisting he didn't. I think he was buying me. I think that is how he has gotten women in the past. "It is all manageable" he would tell me. Then he would also dole out money for a kid he claimed was not his and her pill popping momma. I was out with my friends all the time and I didn't care what he did. It wasn't until one night I heard him on the phone telling someone that he was MOVING INTO MY HOUSE that I decided enough is enough and I asked him to please stay at his house and not mine every night. When I came home that day he was gone. Easy enough. Except he decided to try to make people think I stole his credit card and pay my bills. I didn't. I don't need to. Let it be known he did this all on his own. I didn't put out, instead I asked him to go home and he figured the way to get me back would be to dispute credit card charges. Okay well it didn't work out for him as well as he thought and he still had to pay. Sorry Joe...I survived you.
Then there is Danny...My first and last backslide ever. I have always been known to never look back. When I am done I am done. Danny and I were supposed to get married and the engagement ended as fast as it happened. Bitter and pissed he moved out, text stalked me for a month then vanished. I figured he got bored. Well 2 months ago he resurfaced selling me a story about how he has changed and he isn't the same hateful bitter old bastard he was. He told me he wanted to get to know my friends and wouldn't bitch about work ever again. Okay I am always guilty of not giving second chances and so I sucked it up and met him for a drink. 3 dates later he is moving in with me. GOOD LORD. What happened to baby steps? I told him I wasn't the same person and that I do what I want when I want. I don't know if it was the going out with the Blonde Ambition, or if it was the Ozzy Concert and me going with Sharee, or hanging with Kid Rock for 2 days, or the Ice Storm, or hell all of it that caused him to throw a little bitch fit and make me realize that this leopard never changed its spots...it just dyed its hair. Danny's natural grumpy, unhappy attitude and other not so endearing physical features and habits caused me to tell him it wasn't working and he needed to leave. He left calmly enough and told me he wouldn't call but if I needed anything to just look him up. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. Starting mid afternoon Christmas Day he began asking me to have drinks with him. No thanks I reply, then on a drunken bender he has texted me and called and been hateful and mean and threatening. I took the high road this time and didn't react nor did I respond. He did tell me I owe him money because he paid some bills while he lived with me. Ever heard of RENT MOTHER FUCKER? The small skinny of it is this, Danny lives out of his truck, he never stays in one place very long and his permanent address is a PO Box. Now I wonder why he has no REAL home. Could it be because no one wants to be around a stinky, bitchy fat old man day in and day out? Hey Danny...YOU run people off...YOU make them dislike you. Say all you want about me and my character but my mailing address has stayed the same.
I would like both Joe and Danny to know that all you both did was on your own accord. I NEVER held a gun to your heads NOR did I ask for anything except for you to pull your weight. So you can be bitter and mad and scream from the highest mountain that I used you, but the fact is this...You moved into my house without discussing it with me...either by buying your way in (Joe) or sneaky (Danny). I am sorry you feel like you were used. That wasn't the case. My advice is this..In the future be social, don't bitch, don't assume anything and certainly keep your own address. As a grown independent woman I can tell you none of us that have become successful without a man need you saving us or moving in and taking over our homes. We still have hard times and things we have to deal with that may be trying but the last thing me need is for the number one on that list is you. And lastly, don't show you ASS by disputing charges for things YOU willingly paid for or being psycho by sending never-ending texts. Joe a gift is a gift and I want you to know I am not in the mood to take you to court, you aren't worth the trouble, there is enough court in my life right now to last forever. And Danny, I hope the last text you sent is true, that you deleted me from your phone once and for all. Oh and for the record, nothing stunk as bad as walking into the bedroom after you had been in there asleep for a few hours...
Men walk away, Women do the same...psycho behavior is NOT attractive no matter how you accessorize it.