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1:20 p.m. - February 06, 2008
Travel Tips from a Foul Mouthed Renegade
Okay people look. I have been in the hospitality industry for 10 years and I have seen it all. Well almost anyways. I am not going to get into that. The purpose of this blog is to help YOU be a better traveller and communicator in your life. I hope.

Hospitality Industry people are almost as poorly paid as teachers. However, I would place a wager they are treated way worse. SO, read this and if any of it applies to you then CHANGE. Because it means you are an ignorant fucking asshole.

***this are mainly geared toward travellers...remember I work in a boutique hotel. Some situations apply across the board***

Making Reservations:

* Dont call and tell us this that and the other about some stupid thing you want to attend. Just give us the chance to ask the questions.WE know whats going on in the city. YOU most likely do not.

* Do not call us and read us what it says on the website. And then ARGUE with us.

* Waiting until 9pm or later to make reservations MAY be a bit easier to get thru, however I am willing to bet if you are calling an independent hotel that doesnt have a 24 hour reservation call center, you will be getting a front desk person whose job is to attend to guests face to face. We know the basic 'need to know' stuff as far as reservations but not as much as the person that holds that position. So if you want to make reservations in the middle of the night...go with a major chain and call their 800 number. We are nicer but they are up all night to serve YOU.

* Sold out is just that. Sold out. What that means is..if you were Jesus, and you came in or called "THERE IS NO ROOM IN THE INN!" Arguing does not make rooms appear. We dont hold rooms and release them later like concerts hold seats.

* Rates are always changing just like the airlines. Unless you have a Negotiated Business Rate [and if you do you will know it] then plan on paying different rates each time you come in. Just because you are Joe S. Cool and you come in with your buddies every third weekend to get freaky doesnt guarantee you a rate. Nor does knowing anyone other than the owner. The manager of the shoe shine booth can not quote rates...we desk staff cant resole shoes...get the picture?

* Be prepared. Know what days you are coming and leaving. Know your address. Have your credit card ready to guarantee your reservation and have a pen ready to write down your reservation confimation number.

* If you call and say you want to CONFIRM a reservation, and the person on the other end says "do you have a CONFIRMATION NUMBER??" in a sarcastic tone...think about it. Idiot.

Checking In To The Hotel

* Know where you are. Know how to pronounce the name of the establishment. You look like the biggest ass if you dont know the name of the place you are at or going to. You look like an elephants ass if you act like you are Joe S. Cool in front of a bunch of people and call say the COLCORD the CONCORD or Soliel [pronounced SOLAY] as Soleel.

* Have your credentials ready. Drivers License and Credit Card. We ask for this for your protection, not to inconvience you. One day you might be thankful.

* Upgrades. If YOU ask for it you WILL BE CHARGED. If you are nice to us and we like you, and the room is available, you might just get a complimentary upgrade. You catch more flies with honey.....

* Your bad day is not our fault. Nor should you inflict your bad mood on any hotel staff member. Turn the table...what if we snapped your head off when you asked for a new room key.

* If the bellman takes your luggage, hell assists you in any way TIP HIM YOU TIGHT WAD! Same goes for valets and courtesy vehicle drivers. They work for tips. They arent your field hand that works for room and board. You want better service, you want to be at the head of the line, get your car first? TIP BIGGER.


* Hopefully you are aware of the room type you booked. Be happy.

* The staff has no control over the cable channels. We cant make them appear so you can watch all night ESPN2. I am sure we have 24 hours of porn. Pick that instead.

* If you need more pillows or towels, ask politely. They get there faster.

* If you have the Do Not Disturb sign on all day and you are out. The housekeepers will not make up your room. So please do not call screaming at the desk or at the housekeepers. They didnt put that sign out you did.

* Keep your key away from your cell phone and your other credit cards. The WILL demagnetize. We do not manufacture the keys and cant control if they quit working from time to time. Deal with it. Its NOT a big deal really.


* The front desk in most cases does NOT know anything about the restaurant in the hotel besides the name and where they are located. Sometimes we know the specials or if there is an event in there. Go directly to the horse for the most accurate information. Follow me?

* If you have an issue with the restaurant or bar, take it up with them. Bitching at the front desk is useless. Front Desk cant do anything about restaurant stuff and bitching at them just pisses you both off. In the same sense, dont bitch at the restaurant about the hotel.

* Be nice and dont talk down to the waiter, waitress, hostess or bartender. They can really mess you up.

* If you ask for the manager you will probably never see your waiter again. If you argue with the manager you will probably never see anyone again but you will see your check.

* Tip big.

Checking out

* Have your finances in order. If your company is paying for your room make sure you have communicated with them prior to checking out. its YOUR responsibility to do this not ours. All we know is SOMEONE is paying for the room. We dont care where the money comes from just as long as we get it. If you dont know how should we?

* Be Nice. If you come up freaking out over 20.00 and scream, threaten or show your ass, most likely we will do everything we can to make you pay. Calm, cool and collected. If it is busy, call and talk to accounting later. I am sure you wont starve or die over 20 bucks.

* We will help you if you are nice. we will not want to help you if you are a jackass. Just remember, treat the front desk like you would want to be treated. We dont come to your place of business and scream at you because we are stupid.

I truly hope some of you out there pay a bit of attention to this and it surfaces in your mind when your inner TWAT comes out and you decide to act like you are better than anyone else. We may be in the service industry, and yes our job is to serve, however we are not paid enough to be treated like shit, stiffed and talked to worse than you treat a bum. Remember, be nice, tip big and will be shocked at the difference your travel experience will be.



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