3:31 p.m. - December 26, 2008
Newgram Lovix Alpha Scale
Being two VERY single women, Lolo and I find ourselves talking about the men we have been out with, dated, met etc. And in the process of these indepth discussions we have started referring to men in Alpha form. Its easier. Now be it known that some of the men we encounter all have individual characteristics that make them all stand out from one another. But no matter what that is, be it location, hair color, kind of car they drive, job, they all fit into the NewGram LoVix AlphaScale. So we thought we would share....
~ A ~ The "A" Guy ~ This is the man every woman wants. We wont hop into bed with this guy right away. We will take time to get to know him and see what he finds interesting. Sometimes we even adapt to those things. We like him.....Alot.
~ B ~ The Boy Toy ~ He is our relief. A hot guy that is a great rattle. We dont want a relationship with him because in all honesty these guys usually arent relationship material. There is no drama, no expectations just good sex at the drop of the hat. We are thankful for you "B" guys...
~ C ~ The Club Buddy ~ He is our clubbing buddy. Usually gay so there is no sex at all. The club buddy drinks smiles and can bring sunshine into the most dreary day. Plus they always make our exploits seem tame.
~ D ~ The Drinking Buddy ~ He is like the clubbing buddy but isnt gay. We meet up or go out with him but it isnt a date. Two friends that know each other well. This will sometimes end up with sex. You both know it. But when its over, you laugh and move on. It was all cuz of the booze anyways right?
~ E ~ The Ego-ist ~ Is there room in the bed for the three of you?
~ F ~ The Freakshow ~ We all have fetishes. They are a healthy way to learn about each other, open doors sexually and keep it interesting. But when this guy wants to wear a gimp mask, angel wings, ballet shoes and crotchless panties to bed and have you paint a clown face on your ass while wearing spurs, spandex, a ball gag and carry a blow up goat? This guy has gotta go.
~ G ~ The Good Guy ~ This is the guy that all the ladies want. He encompasses everything that is perfection. He is also as mythical as mermaids and unicorns.
~ H ~ The Handy Man ~ He is the man you call when something needs mending. Well except your heart of course. He will fix your garage door, rewire your doorbell, haul in heavy kitchen appliances. He is a little rugged and a great guy to have around. Payment can easily be made with a dinner of some kind of meat and potatoes. He will probably admire you from afar but never make a move. And in the interest of all that are involved...dont fuck your handy man.
~ I ~ The Inmate ~ Hot guy with the bad boy side. Amazing in the sack and keeps your heart racing at the thought he might call. He knows how to do everything exactly right on how to keep you. You melt when he looks at you and reel at his touch. But what is he doing when he doesnt call for a couple of days or show up when he is supposed to. Who is he talking to on his cell phone outside in the snow on the side of the house? You might check the web....betcha money this ones got a record.
~ J ~ The Jack Off ~ He does it too much, He wants to do it while you watch, have you do it, watch you do it. He could almost be classified as a "F" but not quite. Can you wait for a few minutes while he rubs one out before ya'll go out? Thanks.
~ K ~ The Keeper ~ He is a great guy. He isnt a "G" or an "A" but close. he has almost all the qualities we look for in a man. there are just a few things that arent great, but at the beginning we can over look it all. The problem is that one day, out of nowhere, those lil issues will rear their head and itll all be over.
~ L ~ The Liar ~ Do I need to go there?
~ M ~ The Manly Man ~ He works out too much. All the time. Every day. His biceps are bigger around than your head. Which probably means his thing is less than you probably need. If its adequate it probably wont last long.
~ N ~ The Nobody ~ This guy has never done ANYTHING fun. NOTHING. If you talk about a face off over a Prada on Black Friday he thinks its the most exciting thing he has ever heard. How can this guy be for real? Is it an act?
~ O ~ The Over Achiever ~ The poor soul tries to hard. He can also be known as a door mat. He will do anything to make you happy and go that extra mile. Usually does not have a backbone or any exo-skeleton. Spinal Support is questionable.
~ P ~ Papa ~ Nothing is sexier than a man with his kid. Well unless he has a psycho Babys Mama lurking in the shadows calling the shots. This man can be combined with a few of the other letters but usually stays on his own. Just be on the look out for the babys mama and her interference. That will be your deal breaker.
~ Q ~ The Quitter ~ He gives up on everything. Jobs, Family, Relationships, wiring stereo speakers. The world is against him. He is negative to the core. His bad attitude will rub off on ya like leprosy. But remember sometimes angry bitter men are a great rattle. Just dont let him settle in. he will ruin your day from the get-go.
~ R ~ The Rollerball ~ Ask Lora. I cant even go there right now
~ S ~ The Stalker ~ He cyber stalks your MySpace and Facebook. He has a group of friends that call him when they see you out. He calls from anonymous numbers, there are random drive bys, He is at your work, the mall, emails, texts, calls. Maybe you slept with him, maybe not....it doesnt matter he is like herpes you cant get rid of him. Dont react to him...thats what he wants. The closest cure you have to this friendly fella is a TRO.
~ T ~ Tool ~ You know.
~ U ~ The One Upper ~ He has done it better, more, faster, than anyone you introduce him to. Dating him wont last long because your friends will hate his guts.
~ V ~ The Valentino ~ He is SUPER Hott. He will romance your pants right off you. He takes you to the best of the best restaurants, shows etc. Has a super nice car, buys flowers and gifts, hell he probably even cooks you dinner. You will get amazing back rubs and the sex...well "baby its all about you" til he get bored and his wandering hands are on his next conquest. Enjoy it while it lasts and dont get hooked. You wont keep this one no matter how hard you try.
~ W ~ The Workaholic ~ Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, and when he is home he is really tired from work. He may make alot of money but thats because he doesnt do anything but fucking work. Oh and he probably drives a Lexus.
~ X ~ The Ex ~ He is what he is. Dont backslide ladies it never turns out good. History may repeat itself but relationships cant.
~ Y ~ Ole Yeller ~ He yells. All the time. He may not be yelling at you, just to you. He needs to be heard. He wont listen to what you have to say and if you try to talk with him the odds are you will just end up yelling too. High Stress for you....pure enjoyment for him.
~ Z ~ The Zealot ~ He is an over enthusiastic crazy person over whatever happens to be the issue at the moment. He knows EVERYTHING about it and it is just ridiculous listening to his random babblings about what ever subject was brought up. Go to the bathroom, stop at the juke box, hell pick gum out from under the table, Anything to get out of his line of fire.
