4:53 p.m. - December 31, 2004
2004/2005
There are so many things to say at the end of the year. Reflections, regrets, rues and rewards that have happened over the period of 365 days. This year has been trying but awesome. I learned so much about myself in the last year. I became who I am and really always wanted to be in California, I came back to the south to be near family and left the best friends I had ever made in my life to pursue unfinished business, see how strong I really am and support someone that I know really needs me whether she asks or not.
It seems I have cried alot in the past few weeks and question whether I made the right choice by leaving the party life in California I really was enjoying. And deep down inside I know I made the right choice, for now. Get out before I became so detached and jaded that I would never be able to set foot back in the life that I call family. As much as it hurts me and leaves the everlasting lump in my throat, and all the nights I have sobbed til you could wring out my pillow, I know that the pain will subside and the joyous memories will take me back time and time again. And like my friends left behind when I went to California, those I made there that are my REAL friends will always be my friends no matter what my zip code.
I did have another revelation today thanks to the person that made me realize back in September that family is most important...that there is fun to be had and there is greatness abounding in past and future that I have yet to see...Adrian..thank you for being everything you are to me..then and now...besides California, YOU make me ..ME.
So I am going to close this year by saying that I have no regrets and my resolution for 2005 is that I WILL NOT SETTLE...for anything less than what is best for ME.
Happy New Year everyone ....
