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5:16 a.m. - October 13, 2003
Delimna and Decisions
Oh geez...I have to make a decision...Scuba emailed me and wants us to get together in the next few days...Now I told him I couldnt this weekend cuz I am going out of town and I am totally booked this weekend...But next weekend SJ is playin at Canyon Inn and I didnt really care too much for that bar. Prollem Is I dont know if I can do it again. I really enjoy playin with Scuba...but SJ is soooo sooo ahhh. And I dont really know how he feels about me but if it is anywhere close to how I feel I would get all PO'd if he was to do that with a once in a whiler. The first time I met SJ I left the bar and went to see scuba. Its fun and all but I really like SJ and cant do that I dont think.

Funny thing is that I just let Stretch go completely the other night. I was gonna go over there and hang out and he started talking booty call right off the bat and when I cancelled on him he flipped out AGAIN. Now I did drink a bit much at lunch on friday and came home with a tremendous headache. When I laid down I couldnt get back up and he just lost it. If he didnt feel well and cancelled on me I wouldnt flip out on him. Shit he even told me that I wasnt girlfriend material a long time i just told him I prolly wasnt friendship material either. Ya know I really wasnt getting anything out of being with him anyway. And I didnt wanna cuz I am so into SJ.

So long story short...I am gonna see how this weekend goes with SJ and let Scuba know monday if it is gonna happen. It wouldnt be a problem if I didnt go into lockdown 2 days after I am with him. Shit I should just say no and be done with it. There isnt any long term ability with him either I dont think anyways.

I just like SJ way too much...I hope the gods can see fit to let me have this one. Maybe this is a test.

Well I am off to shower and hope my back feels better...too much dancin sat night...I am dead.

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