10:13 a.m. - November 23, 2004
A New Outlook
I woke today with a hangover and a fresh view of whats going on...
I would like to Thank 3 very special guys (Bruce, Cory and Craig) for working with my drama (which I usually have none of) and allowing me to vent, cry and then shaking the dogshit outta me to make me see that the problem isnt ME....
So besides getting hammered and drunk dialing I did get the big picture ...it all came full front about 1am and then again this morning...so here we go...
I am not going to worry what anyone here ...or anyplace for that matter thinks of me. I honestly believe I put way to much weight into what other people think and being accepted...and if im not I am not going to die.. I havent found a nitch here...i will...and most likely it wont be with ANY of the immediate group I have met. (with the exception of a small number ..i need to add that) Im thinking at this point it is prolly better if I just get away from the lot of them because I dont know who is a back stabber and who isnt. Yea im a bit guarded, so what?
For the record....I only 'attempted' to make friends with any of these folks because thats my way...I cant have too many friends...I guess some people can or dont want any new ones...and if they cant understand why I wanted to be friends with them then I think maybe I should take a step back and rethink it too...If a person thinks I have to have a motive to be friends with them then that is no one I need in my life.
I hear tell that I come on too strong..or that Im over-bearing...or that im crazy or a spaz...well hello I AM...thats me...and I hate to tell you people but if you cant handle someone like me around...crawl back under your moss covered rock cuz baby this big wide world will eat you alive. Im serious...Stay in Oklahoma forever....you BELONG here...I pity you ...but hell what do I know? I do want to add that I am not ditsing Oklahoma by anymeans...I like it here ..I do...I just question the stability of a few of it residents....I also feel ike those of you that are fitting into this catagory, need to go out of the state...and see what else is out there...its healthy...go.
In the mean time...if you want to be my friend...you know where I am and how to get a hold of me. AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...
As for the rest....Fuck all you narrow minded, back asswards, clickish, trash talking, insecure, jealous, idiots. I feel better....
Im going out...if you THINK you can handle it come along...Its gonna be a great ride
Peace Fuckers!
