9:41 a.m. - July 08, 2005
Naming the Puppy
Okay so Im gonna name the puppy...and it is Chris. He came over again last night and we had Merlot and Pizza and a 1/2 bottle of banana rum. We watched TV and talked about family and friends and relationships and feelings. I ahd to wonder, when I met him on wednesday and I thought he was great, if I was just drunk or if he really was all that....he IS all that plus more.
We decided to try to spend as much time together as we can this weekend. I do want him to see his friends tho since I think he had plans to do that already. If he wants me there also I will go...I am enthralled.
This brings another issue. Lucky. I have been pulling back for a while and very unhappy with things the way they are with him. At first it started as fun then as time as progressed it has become a monster with a personality disorder. He constantly tells me of lies he tells Jacki and says it in a way I can actually hear him smiling. Then I realized...the jew used to lie all the time and never call me his girlfriend. It was dirty secrets and lies and deceit. That is so not my way and I told Lucky that yesterday. Also I dont wanna go to LA to fuck him and I am getting the feeling that this is what the whole weekend is about for him. Sex with me...sorry hunny ...aint happening...I had decided that along time ago.
I realized that along the past few months I had become something I am really not. I wasnt happy even tho I appreared to be on the surface. Moving to a new place is always hard and Lucky helped me thru the move. But now I have gotten to a place where I need the physical and emotional as well as the verbal. He has ALOT of issues he needs to work thru with out distraction.
And the thing that is crazy...here I am not loking for anyone...and out of nowhere comes someone that was my missing piece....plus he hates mushrooms...eats hotsauce on his pizza and likes his steaks rare....He is a keeper!
